Working with women has shown me that the healing path can often be a rocky one. However, it is my hope that after reading these steps, you find that while you once equated raising your daughter through adolescence unscathed to a death-defying, daunting climb up Mount Everest, now you envision it more like a slow, steady climb of a majestic, but safer mountain. As far as your own healing is concerned, you may have once thought all the healing you could do was done, or worse, you thought that you could heal the cracks in the porcelain only so far. You now see that you can regenerate and renew your mind, body, and soul.
But old habits die hard, sister. As all the research shows, those habits of mind whether they are tired, old phrases you say to yourself or old habits of not fully taking care of yourself, those thoughts and feelings have taken years to carve neuropathways into your brain. Some experts say it takes anywhere from 45-66 days to develop new habits. When you have a number of different habits, it can be daunting to take it all on at once.
One of the greatest obstacles is doubt. As a survivor, you may have internalized your pain to the extent that you doubt your value as a person. You are so comfortable with doubt that life will feel funny without this security blanket to carry around with you to protect you from fully opening up. You have lived years doubting yourself and doubting that you can achieve full happiness. Have faith in yourself by looking at all of your sisters who have overcome tremendous excruciating pain. You can do this.
I have found that working with women in circle is one of the most powerful ways to heal. However, if you feel more comfortable you can enlist the help of a friend who is also on the path to self-healing. Develop a system where you hold each other accountable for self-care on all fronts. At the beginning of your journey, map out your goals, either visually through drawing a mind map (a diagram using images and words to brainstorm) and/or writing down what you wish to manifest in your life and what you wish to manifest for your daughter.
While it can take time to find women with whom you truly connect, finding sisterhood is possible. I have found in my work that there is power in finding real in person sisters, but online sisterhood can be very healing as well.
This is a short excerpt from the book, The Way of The Warrior Mama. Official book launch date is December 11, 2018. Get your copy now!